


Entropy (Murphy's Law remix)

by xxxshuaholic (meclanitea)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Jun-centric, M/M, Remix, Space AU, Vague character death, more like optimistic ending, not really a happy ending but sorta is, until the status is not vague
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-05 14:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18830518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meclanitea/pseuds/xxxshuaholic
Summary: Jun doesn’t cry. Wonwoo will be fine. They’ll be fine.He’s willing to wait.He’ll wait.He’ll wait.





	Entropy (Murphy's Law remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [murphy's law](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18449306) by [perfunit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfunit/pseuds/perfunit). 



> My first thought after crying over reading Murphy's Law the first time was that I needed to cry even more so I made this.
> 
> This is a remix sequel (is not canonical to the og fic) and definitely shouldn't be read without reading the original fic first which I highly recommend xoxo
> 
> Beta-ed by @averyblue and @carat_e

 

 

_**Entropy:** A quantity known as the degree of disorder in a system._

_**The Second Law of Thermodynamics:** The amount of entropy in the universe, as an isolated system, only increases over time._

* * *

 

When the team had initially lost communication, Jun’s heart almost stops.

_No, no, no._

Just a few moments ago, all the trainees had gathered at the station’s bay area to watch how the first team from their batch of friends was faring on the voyage. With no warning, the screen went black and the seniors started running around, barking orders to look for teachers and find all the distress signals.

With all the commotion, Jun doesn’t notice it right away but he’s trembling. He shakes his head. They’re fine. They _can’t_  be not fine. Sooner or later, transmissions will come. There was just some disturbance, a blip in the system. Nothing’s wrong. He’ll wait it out. Good news is sure to come.

Wonwoo is alright.

 

The screen starts to work again and they see Seungcheol, Mingyu, and Hansol looking desperate.

Jun keeps darting his eyes all around for any signs of his boyfriend but sees nothing except the scared faces of his teammates.

When Seungcheol speaks, Jun feels like he’s been sunk down. Like his plane is the one that’s crashed and you know nothing except that all hope has been lost.

No, Jun refuses to cry. The pod can last a couple of days. It’s wired in a way where they can’t communicate now, but maybe Wonwoo will land somewhere and work from there. Wonwoo is one of the smartest people he knows. There’s no way he won’t survive this.

Even if it takes years, Jun will wait.

 _We have time_ , he had said. They have time.

Jun is willing to wait. It’s okay, they’ll be okay.

 

***

 

He doesn’t cry either, days later, when the estimated time the pod’s oxygen supply can last runs out.

Wonwoo’s brother clings to him at the wake the academy sets up. Jun doesn’t shed a single tear.

 

***

 

It’s a few days after when Seungcheol finally comes to him. Jun hasn’t talked to any of the team, not even the during the funeral.

“I was the leader, I should have…,” Seungcheol pauses. Jun sees how hard he’s clenching his hand.

“I could have…” Seungcheol looks to him in defeat. “…I didn’t stop him. I failed. I know my words won’t bring him back but I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t think he’s ever heard his friend speak so softly and helplessly. Seungcheol had been a natural-born leader who could take charge and cared for everyone. Right now, he just seems utterly lost.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“No, I’m sorry. I…”

Jun’s not really angry. He’s not. He knows it’s not Seungcheol’s fault or anyone’s fault, really.

Still, sometimes, he wants something or someone to blame. It makes him feel a bit better when he can direct his frustrations somewhere, but he feels horrible afterwards.

They all feel horrible.

No one wanted Wonwoo to do what he did.

He wonders what was going through Wonwoo’s mind in those deciding seconds where he chose to sacrifice himself for everyone else.

He knows that any of the other boys would have done the same in Wonwoo’s position.

It was a matter of circumstance.

It was a matter of bad luck.

Jun hates himself for wishing it were someone else instead.

“I don’t blame you Seungcheol. Wonwoo chose to do that. He…” Jun grits his teeth. He almost wants to blame Wonwoo. Almost. “Of course, he knew what he was doing. You don’t have to apologize to me or to anyone.”

 

***

Even after a week since the wake, Soonyoung hasn’t calmed down. He’s been angry and has been at the training grounds non-stop. When he’s not channeling his rage, he’s been crying. Jun and Jihoon have been alternating in holding him in his sleep.

Jihoon tells him that if it’s too much for Jun to handle while dealing with his own grief, he can be with Soonyoung in the mean time.

Jun shakes his head at that.

Jun is full of a lot of different emotions and he can get none of them out. It’s somehow relieving seeing someone that can mourn for Wonwoo so expressively.

If he’s honest, he feels like mourning for Wonwoo is an acceptance he’s not ready for.

He doesn’t think he’d ever be ready for it.

So in the mean time, he’ll wait.

He’ll comfort his friends and cling onto them and make sure they’re okay.

At least, he can keep them close and safe, even if Wonwoo is far away.

 

***

 

_“Do you get scared?”_

Jun got scared then, and he still gets scared. He gets scared of not being able to see all the beauties the universe had to offer, of not being able to do all the things he had set out to do. He gets scared of losing any of his friends and loved ones.

And now he’s lost Wonwoo.

Maybe not forever. He’s still clinging onto some tiny hope. That’s the only thing keeping him from breaking.

_“...but we’re so insignificant.”_

The universe doesn’t care. It can squish a life out of it and keep on moving. It doesn’t care about who you are, what you do, or who you love. The universe does what it will and moves on, uncaring even in the face of death. perhaps that’s what Wonwoo was scared of. But Jun is nothing like the universe, he realizes. He cares too much.

 

***

 

He’s going to start living in the pilots’ quarters from now on. He’s no longer a trainee and will be able to have the luxury of having his own room. Jun is sifting through the knick knacks and whatnot of his closet when he finds a little black box. He hesitates to reach for it, fully knowing what it is. He opens the box and sees the ring he planned to give Wonwoo once he was ready.

Jun almost chokes trying to hold the tears back in.

 

***

 

Soonyoung gets married and Jun is the best man.

He knows he’s where Wonwoo would have been if things turned out differently. He wonders if Wonwoo, wherever he is, has fallen in love again and has built a family.

The thought of it pierces through him, but it’s better than the alternative.

He lets himself only think of Wonwoo once today. Today is for Soonyoung, he can at least not wallow for the the sake of their best friend.

 

***

 

When Soonyoung comes back from his honeymoon, he tells Jun that he feels guilty.

They’re by the old training deck, sitting on the ground, watching the stars from the expansive windows.

He feels guilty that he’s doing things without Wonwoo. They had been with each other for so long and promised to be there for each other. No matter how many people they would meet, and no matter how little they’d be able to talk because of how busy they were, they’d have each other’s back for anything and everything.

“I’m trying to be happy because I know he’d kick my ass otherwise.”

“Maybe you should have another wedding when he comes back.”

Soonyoung doesn’t say anything for a while. His eyes are glassy as he stares up, observing the celestial bodies beyond the ship’s glass.

“Jun,” he breathes out. “I think he’d want you to be happy too. ”

“I know,” Jun whispers back.

 

***

 

Contrary to popular belief, even though Jun is waiting for Wonwoo to come back, he isn’t being idle like a sitting duck. It’s not like he hasn’t tried to meet new people or tried to make those sort of connections with them. Wonwoo could have a family and everything when he comes back and it wouldn’t have mattered to Jun. He just wants him alive and happy.

He’s asked Jihoon a couple of times to set him up. Despite not liking to get out a lot, Jihoon seems to know at least one person from every station or embassy.

Jun doesn’t comment about how these people are remarkably different from Wonwoo in every way.

He’s met a lot of great people, but they never end up becoming anything more than friends. He just hasn’t met anyone that made the sparks within him go off, the way it did with Wonwoo. Not like a spark of a lightbulb turning on and the world turning rose-colored. It was just things fitting together and realizing one day that it’s all in the right place.

He knows not every sort of love story is like that. He doesn’t expect it to be.

But he can’t help but yearn.

 

***

 

Jun has heard people say “time heals all wounds” all the time. He’d like to be a testament to how that’s not the case. After ten years, you’d think you could get used to the dulling pain, but then you realize it never really eases. It’s always there. Even if he doesn’t think about it as much, even when he’s having the time of his life, there are days when the pain is just as terrible as when the screen first fizzled off. 

Sometimes, he thinks that when Wonwoo launched that pod, he took away some part of Jun’s heart along with him.

 

***

 

Some days, it’s good. He can almost feel like he can accept it, and the truth is, he’s scared of that.

He feels like Wonwoo would fade away from everybody’s memory if he doesn’t hang on.

 _Just a little more_ , he thinks. He just needs a little more before he’s ready to say goodbye.

 

***

 

It’s Jihoon who comes and tells him when they discover the pod.

He’s just come home from a mission and had been planning on sleeping for maybe the next 12 hours. He’s surprised by the knock on his door because everyone knows pilots do nothing but sleep like the dead after their duty.

Jihoon looks like death had taken a visit.

 

“They got back his bones.”

 

And just like that, the thread of hope disappears.

Some scouts were on an expedition and found it floating around. It was a miracle it was still in one piece and hadn’t been hit by anything else.

“He left a message for you. Soonyoung and the others have already heard it. We were at HQ when they sent back the transmission…” Jihoon bites his lip and and keeps rubbing his hands together.

“I think you need to hear it.” _I know you’ve been waiting all this time_ , his friend doesn’t say, but Jun hears it anyway.

 

He’s brought to a private area with nothing but a table and a radio in the middle. It’s a dimly lit room with no windows of any sort. They leave him there and tell him to play the machine when he’s ready.

Jun inhales and clicks the button.

_“Log # 30.”_

Jun ends up gripping his arm tightly. He hadn’t heard Wonwoo’s voice in such a long time. He’s stopped watching their videos years ago when he realized it had hurt him more than helped him. He had almost forgotten that deep sound.

_"...we have to restock on Sherlock's food soon."_

Sherlock died peacefully earlier this year, living longer than most cats would have had. They had a quiet vigil, and Jun had nothing but Wonwoo in his thoughts while trying to remember how they first got him.

_"...I keep all my files in my external drive. They'll definitely need them."_

They've cleared out his room long ago and Jun kept most of his possessions that didn't go back to his family.

_"Tell him fine, the veggie crackers are his."_

Soonyoung didn't take anything from Wonwoo's things. He told Jun it had been too painful.

_"Jun."_

His breath hitches.

_"Wish you could see this right now. Shining ribbons enough to illuminate the whole galaxy… It’s beautiful."_

Wonwoo's an idiot. No matter how breathtaking space may be, no matter how full of wonders it is, Jun wouldn't hesitate to give it all away just to see him one last time.

_"I do want to spend my life with you. Of course I do."_

Jun feels like the world has stopped. The rest of the room fades away, and all that's left is Wonwoo's voice.

He clutches his chest. Stupid Wonwoo, Jun had been willing to wait.

He was going to wait forever if he had to.

_"I wish could have told you that face to face. I think you’d look dumb. Goofy grin and all. Maybe you’d cry."_

Jun hadn't cried since that day. He never let himself do it.

He knows it's not weak to cry. He knows that crying helps more than it wrecks you.

But crying felt like he'd admit that Wonwoo was gone. He'd admit that he wasn't coming back and was just stuck somewhere, unable to come home. It'd be admitting that he had been waiting for nothing.

_"I love you."_

Wonwoo says it so quietly, it's almost a whisper. He hardly ever said it before, but he never really needed to. Jun knew it from the small smiles, from the fleeting touches, from the pats on the back, and the squeeze of the hand. Jun knew from the late nights in bed, just lying beside each other, basking in each other's warmth. Jun knew it from each soft kiss. Jun knew it because Jun knew Wonwoo.

_“You’re the last thing I’m going to think of.”_

The tears start falling without him noticing. His knees fall to the floor and his whole face is wet.

The recording buzzes off, and Jun cries out the ache of the past ten years.

 

***

 

Dying from old age is a privilege for a pilot. A lot don't make it to their 30s, let alone retirement. It was a risk part of the job.

Jun's lived a long life. He’s proud of it. He’s been to several planets and learned different languages. He’s helped spread that knowledge and had brought home honor and pride to his homeland. He’s met great people and he’s so thankful to have known them.

On his bed, on a warm spring day, Jun closes his eyes one last time, thinking of a boy he loved long long ago.

 

The first thing he sees is overwhelming light. It’s as bright as the stars in space. A figure approaches him and Jun wonders if he’s dreaming, or maybe if death has claimed him.

They get nearer and Jun finds the words stuck in his throat. They take his hand and squeeze it gently.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> “When there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks, I will follow you into the dark.” - Death Cab for Cutie
> 
> twt: @boonotboss


End file.
